Keith got to sit First Class on the way to L.A. this past week, which just overwhelmed me all over again. You see, it reminded me of that glorious day a couple months ago when I got to sit First Class on the way to Chicago. Because my dad retired from American Airlines, we (and several of our loved ones) get to jetset around the planet for substantially cheaper than the average flying consumer, a blessing which has not been lost on me. I am so very grateful to my dad and to the Lord for this privilege, and wouldn’t even be able to guess how much it has saved our family in travel costs. Truth be told, we would not have seen our family nearly as frequently as we have been able to the last 5 years, if we did not have this travel method. It’s not for the faint of heart, mind you. Sometimes you don’t get on the plane, and have to go from gate to gate like a beggar all day. And when you do get on the plane, you have to sit way in the back (with the roaring engines and stinky bathroom nearby) with the Priceline customers, and you’re just happy to be on the plane. 🙂
But the day I got to sit in First Class, it was almost too much for me. I was flying by myself to the States to see family over Spring Break and to compete in that little singing competition. The flight looked really good, like I would definitely get in First Class, but I just couldn’t believe that something that good would really happen to me. Now that’s ridiculous because my life is chock-full of good, even GREAT things. But as I was sitting there waiting to hear my name called, I felt these sharp pricks of doubt, like something would go wrong because I was not good enough to sit in First Class. This all might sound a little silly, but as I was sitting there, with tears in my eyes and anticipation in my heart, just waiting for my name, I had this huge spiritual revelation: I still don’t really believe that God wants to bless me. Now I believe he wants to bless YOU! And him, and her, and those people over there, and especially the people over here in Japan. But somewhere deep and dark, I have some problems dealing with the goodness of God toward ME. I am embarrassed to even admit this because truly, but I think this is important to say it out loud. I have no reason to doubt His father heart toward me. Like I said before, my life is overflowing with evidence of His blessing. But I still have dreams that it will all be taken away, and when it was my turn to wait for First Class, I was just sure that I didn’t deserve it, and couldn’t possibly see it happen.
Sitting there that day, I heartily resolved that I would bless His name regardless of where I sat on the plane. I just needed to be on that plane. (Can you see the metaphor?)
Whether my life be filled with happy things I don’t deserve, or whether it be filled with heartache and loss, I know I’ll be on that plane. He will say my name on that day when it will really matter. I WILL be on that plane because He is good, and because He’s good to me, to reveal to me His perfect Son, and to cause my heart to believe on Him. And between now and then, in the waiting time, you’d better believe I’m gonna bless His name.