Day 7: What Does it Look Like to Come Back to Jesus?

Day 7 Graphic

Read Mark 14: 66-72

And as Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came, and seeing Peter warming himself, she looked at him and said, “You also were with the Nazarene, Jesus.” But he denied it, saying, “I neither know nor understand what you mean.” And he went out into the gateway and the rooster crowed. And the servant girl saw him and began again to say to the bystanders, “This man is one of them.” But again he denied it. And after a little while the bystanders again said to Peter, “Certainly you are one of them, for you are a Galilean.” But he began to invoke a curse on himself and to swear, “I do not know this man of whom you speak.” And immediately the rooster crowed a second time. And Peter remembered how Jesus had said to him, “Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times.” And he broke down and wept.

If You Believe This to Be True Graphic

When you have moments of denial, or betray your identity, what does it look like to go back to Jesus?

About cashclan

Lisa is a grateful, born-again follower of Jesus Christ who has spent her adult life on the Gospel in several global contexts. She is the wife of one wonderful, jungle-gym of a man, who is to her the single most ravishing piece of flesh on planet earth (stolen good-heartedly from Christine Caine). She is a dedicated home educator to their four beautiful children, ages 6 to 12, whom she would be happy to gush over any time. She is an avid reader and a storyteller, an aspiring writer, a missionary to the nations and a singer of His praises, a loyal friend, an obsessive-compulsive Googler, and comedienne extraordinaire on her best days. She would also like to think that she is a loyal and loving, truth-telling friend.
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2 Responses to Day 7: What Does it Look Like to Come Back to Jesus?

  1. cashclan says:

    The few people who are reading this know every facet of our story about leaving Japan, so I don’t think we need to rehash all that. But today’s Scripture had me literally bawling my eyes out at 6am this Wednesday morning.

    Oh my, how I felt (and still do feel) such regret, such ugly SHAME really, for the way I fell apart in 2011. That year is such a nightmarish blur. Very much like Peter, I had been following Jesus at a distance for a while before my Great Denial of Him and of all He has called me to be. I know ya’ll remember how bad it was. I wasn’t even myself for a good year, maybe even two, to be honest. That year my whole body felt the cost of following Christ, and there were days when I literally could not function. There’s this song by the Avett Brothers that really resonated with me, which probably wasn’t the best song to listen to while I was drowning in my boatload of shame, but somehow it made me feel better when I listened to it over and over again:

    Isn’t that awful? But that’s where I was at, for real. Unable to pull myself out of the muck and mire, I simply could not crack open my Bible for a very long time. Oh, but there were other songs that He used to minister to me with such kindness; these songs somehow were able to penetrate the darkness that was coddling me so murderously. With lyrics and singers anointed with Holy Fire, He got His Words into me and nursed me sweetly and healed my wounds. When we moved to Germany, we were desperately searching for a church our first few weeks and thankfully stumbled upon a very strange and silly youtube video someone had posted, giving directions to the church. But I saw it and thought, “Those might be our people here.” And I’ll be danged, we walked into City Mission K-Town on a September morning, and Nathan Burton (who is now our Pastor) was singing Jesus to me:

    “Come away with me/Come away with me/It’s never too late/It’s not too late/It’s not too late for you/I’ve got a plan for you/I’ve got a plan for you/It’s gonna be wild/It’s gonna be great/It’s gonna be for Me.”

    Seriously ya’ll, my mascara was GONE before we even found a seat. God is so, so good.

    And there have been other songs that have nurtured me so kindly and brought me back to Him, with much weeping and repentance at first and then weeping and immeasurable gratitude. Jesus Culture’s “Your Love Never Fails” and “You Won’t Relent” both have very special places in my heart.

    And Kari Jobe’s “Holy Spirit” undoes me every time:

    “There’s nothing worth more/ That will ever come close/ No thing can compare/ You’re our living hope/ Your presence, Lord/ I’ve tasted and seen/ of the sweetest of loves/ Where my heart becomes free/ And my shame is undone/ Your presence, Lord”

    A few weeks ago, I SHOUTED for Glory in church for the first time in my life at my shame undone. The tender lovingkindness He has tangibly lavished upon us over the last three years has brought us to a place where we know we are not done yet, no where near done. And next time the crisis comes, we won’t be following Him at a distance.

    Ironically, I finished writing this at exactly 7:03 (my alarm goes off to remind me to pray with all the other If Women of God across the world. How about that…

  2. Teri says:

    I’ve never seen or known (for my own self) a returning to Jesus that was pretty and easy first. What preceded it was messy and ugly. Oftentimes, wounds are laid bare and dying to self is part of the process.

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